


blue hydrangea

by dizzy



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Simon contemplates home and also kissing Baz again.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	blue hydrangea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waveydnp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/gifts).



> I asked Sarah to pick a page number from Carry On and she landed me on the part where they're all meeting at Baz's house, so I wrote a fic set then. Enjoy. <3 And don't fact check me bro.

Baz has a well posh house. I knew he was rich but there's something different about knowing it and seeing it. He moves like liquid in this environment, comfortable in a way he doesn't seem to be at Watford most of the time. Maybe on the pitch - maybe there. But all the rest of the time there's a tension in his shoulders that's so much a part of him I didn't notice it was there until I saw him without it. 

Baz Pitch in bloody _jeans _. Dunno why my mind's so stuck on that, but it is.__

__-_ _

__The thing is - I don't know that I've ever fit anywhere like Baz fits here._ _

__Even Watford is like... it's mine, but it's only part mine, you know? It the place I always want to be but when I'm there it's always in the back of my mind that I'll have to leave it again soon. It always feels like soon; it can be the first day of term and I'll be thinking about the Christmas hols are going to roll around before I know it._ _

__When Baz leaves for hols, this is where he goes._ _

__When I leave, it's to a different bed in a different home with different people all around me every single time._ _

__-_ _

__The Wellbelove home always felt cozy and comfortable and in my mind that's what made it feel like a home. Not my home, but a home._ _

__This place isn't cozy or comfortable. It doesn't smell like freshly cooked Sunday roast. It's gleaming and polished, all dark wood and staircases with carved ends at the railing and blood red carpets._ _

__But there's also a children's dolly sat on a bookshelf and a copy of a book of fairytales tucked half under one of the sofa pillows._ _

__I guess home means different things to different people._ _

__I wonder what mine would look like, and then I stop wondering because I probably won't live long enough to find out anyway._ _

__-_ _

__There was a painting of Baz in one of the hallways._ _

__He was younger - about like when we started school together, I reckon. He looked pale and his hair was slicked back and his chin was tilted up in that poncy way that rich kids always get posed for pictures and, apparently, paintings._ _

__But his eyes-_ _

__I don't know what the artist was thinking when they painted Baz's eyes that way, but they look young and scared and shining with vulnerability._ _

__Did Baz look like that when we started school, and I just never saw it?_ _

__Or is that a part of Baz that he only feels comfortable letting out here, too._ _

__-_ _

__"Snow," Baz says, voice stern. His fingers tapping against the wood of the desk he's sat on._ _

__I sit up a bit straight and jam the rest of the sandwich I've been holding into my mouth. "Yeah?" I ask, only after I've chewed precisely three times._ _

__They're actually quite good. I'll have to ask his stepmum what's in them. Or... I won't. I probably won't do that._ _

__"Are you even listening?" He asks._ _

__I chew some more and then swallow._ _

__He's just leaning against that desk like he owns it. Like he was meant to. Like it was made for him._ _

__Bloody hell. Maybe it was._ _

__I shrug. "Maybe."_ _

__He sighs the most aggravated sigh imaginable and my heart does a weird spinny thing in my chest. I wish we were alone here. I want to go into his bedroom. I wanna unpeel back more layers and know what home looks like to _him_. I maybe want to kiss him again. _ _

__"Insufferable," he mutters, then turns back to Penny. "Get your pet under control, please."_ _

__She makes a face at him and I appreciate the very smallest attempt at a defense of me, knowing if Baz weren't here she'd be scolding me herself._ _

__-_ _

__Agatha and Penny are looking at the pictures in Fiona's book when I decide to take an impromptu walk._ _

__"What precisely are you doing, Snow?" Baz asks._ _

__I shouldn't be surprised he followed me._ _

__"Looking for the loo?" I ask. As though it's a question. As though I'm not sure if he'll believe me._ _

__He doesn't. "The one I showed you to earlier? That you found a second time with no directional errors? The one that's the other end of the hall altogether?"_ _

__I shrug. "Just being nosy, then."_ _

__He nods, like that's what he'd expected._ _

__"I like that painting of you," I say, nodding to the one that caught my eye earlier. "You look so little."_ _

__Baz grimaces. "Dad made me sit for that."_ _

__"It's good." I look at it again and smile. "You were cute."_ _

__"No such thing," Baz grumbles._ _

__"Very such thing," I argue._ _

__Is this flirting? Maybe._ _

__"I like your house," I add._ _

__His eyes sweep me up and down. My heart does more weird gymnastics. Maybe other parts, too. His voice drops very, very quiet. "I like you in my house."_ _

__He turns on his heel and strides down the hallway while I stand there gaping like a fish._ _

__-_ _

__A few hours later I'm sat at the dinner table with his entire family, wearing a suit that only fits because he spelled it and watching him push food around on his plate._ _

__I don't belong here. I don't know that I really belong anywhere. But I watch his hands as he lifts a wine glass to his mouth and I see his lips stained with red, almost the same colour as the drapes when he pulls the glass away._ _

__I don't belong here, but he does, and I think just for a bit I'll let myself enjoy that._ _


End file.
